Some common parenting problems and how to solve them

"There are many people through out the world to criticize children, but only parents are to love, to cherish.  Children are the safest only to their parents"....

                        .........Swagata (Ghosh) Maity

Every parents in the world wants their child to be the best, to be established, to be healthy, to have a good education, to be a real person. Parents start dreaming after the birth of a child. As the child grew older, the parents impose that dream on the child. If the child does not follow the path of the dream developed by the parents, they try to force to follow up. This has become the meaning of parenting in our society.

                                                                             

Parenting doesn't mean that.  Parenting means raising a child from infancy to adulthood, helping the child's physical, mental, social and intellectual development.

Now I come straight to the point where we, as parents make mistakes and how we can easily guide them to the correct way and build a perfect, bright children. 

Accept as they are:- At the very tender age, a child tell everything what is happening with him to his parents. When the child grows up, the parents ask but do not want to say anything. Where the relationship was changed? When a child remain infant, parents are happy to listen about him, they smile and accept him. Gradually, when the child grows older, parents begin to pay less attention to the child. When the child says something to their parents with keen interest, most of the time the parents do not want to listen to them rather even if they do, they immediately reject it. The tone of the rule came out of the parents 'throats,' Why did you do that?  Never do it again'. 

                                                                           

Suppose a ten or twelve years old child leaves school and goes to play with friends without informing his parents. When the child returned home, he wanted to tell the whole story openly in genuine interest. As soon as the child returns home, the parents start scolding him without giving any importance to the child. If this happens a few times, that implanted in child's mind that the 'parents are not reliable, I can’t share everything with them.' Gradually he began to hide from his parents what had happened outside. And he's looking for someone to share them with.  Only then did his attraction to the outside world increase and his friends become more reliable and sincere to him than parents. His distance from his parents also increased day by day. If we accept the child as soon as he returns home without any angry reaction and say that 'it is okay what you have done, but you are a very good boy, you should not do these things.'

Answer the question:- Most parents tell their child 'Don't do this, don't do that'. Listening to these, the question arises in the mind of the child, 'What should I do then?' We did not answer this wonderful question of his childhood, on the contrary we show him anger, we try to keep him down. Try to answer all the questions of the child which will help him to fulfill his thirst of knowledge properly.

The children is not your property:- Children only come through you, not from you. Most parents think of their child as their own property or future investment. The behavior of the parents towards the child continues as usual.  If the child is not on the path tied by the parents, he will be scolded and even beaten. Instead of teaching the child to walk, we determine the way of life, we try to change the way of his or her life. Discipline is definitely needed but if there is no harmony between discipline and love then it becomes rule.

Look at yourself carefully:- A child tries to copy exactly his parents.  So take care of what you are doing yourself, your behavior, your speech, even your thoughts. Each of these is directly or indirectly ingrained in your child's mind and how his brain continues to develop. So if you want to raise your child then improve yourself, raise yourself.

                                                                         

Never compare child with any other:- Every child is individual. Raise his/ her capacity. Don't try to mold them. Almost every parent tries to put their child in some mold. Some parents wants their child to be like them and some parents want their child to be like some ideal person or they compare him with another child. Such comparisons create jealousy, ego in the child's mind, can make them superior or inferior.

Criticism:- Never criticise or use any negative statements to your child. Even you have to avoid any negative thoughts to him/her. 'My child is naughty, very slow, the child is lazy' etc. Never use this kind of negative sentences. It builds his identity, his level.

Reward make sense:- Children and even adults are very happy with the rewards before or after doing something. Reward each child for their small good deeds. Reward means I am not talking about any material things here, reward can be applause, praise or any tapping, hug, love. Pretend not to notice the child's mistakes. Give much importance to their small good deeds.

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How can we take control over our anger completely

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.".... Buddha

Anger is one of our emotional states. We all experience it in life. We can show anger means it is beyond our control or someone or something or some events may make us angry. 

In first case anger may become our assets when it is under our control and when we utilise it in a proper way, in a suitable situation. It can protect you from misrule by others.

                                                                             

In the second case, that is, when our anger is controlled by something external, it is our discredit. It is your defeat, it is the loss of your life, it can bring disaster into your life, it can even take your life away. This kind of anger can turn a person to an animal. 

Both of these two resources are present in us. Whichever of these you inhance will become the director of your life. That will create your identity.

We get angry when we try to control others and we get out of control. Think about it, if you have no control over yourself, how do you control something external?

People who get angry for little things are all very aware of the issue and understand very well what kind of disaster this anger has caused or will bring to their own lives. All of these people have repeatedly said that anger needs to be reduced, but they burst in perticular situation.

                                                                           

There are deep reasons behind this which we do not understand or try to understand. Firstly, the person who get angry in very little has created his own identity by repeatedly telling himself that 'I am angry'. Almost everyone in their family and friends identified them as an 'angry person'. In some cases, parents say that 'my child is very angry'. Repeated use of such kinds of words is ingrained in the unconscious mind of the person or child without our conscious awareness. This kind of generalization about oneself or the child or someone in the family creates a belief in the mind that influences his or her actions. Later in future it become his or her behaviour.

Secondly, we hand over the control of our minds to the environment as well as to the people around us. Naturally, when all these external things do not work according to us, we get excited. In some cases you will see that one person gets angry when he sees another person. This means that the second person has become the trigger of the first person's anger.

Thirdly, when we are not comfortable, that is, suffering from depression, physical illness, a traumatic event occurs. Then we automatically feel an irritating pain from the inside which causes us to become angry.

How can you manage your anger:-

(1) Relaxation Techniques:- Sit in a quiet secluded place at certain times each day and take long deep breaths slowly and when you exhale slowly, pronounce the word 'relax'. Repeat this process ten to fifteen times.

(2) Deley The Response:- Our brain responds in two ways to an event. The first is the immediate response that comes out in the hit of the moment which is not a rational or the logical. On the other hand another response is coming after 10 to 15 minutes. This response is very logical or rational. If you respond a little late to an incident, your response will be very reasonable and without anger. When you get very angry for some reason, temporarily remove yourself from the situation until you become cool and calm.

                                                                             

(3) Unacceptanc:- The matchstick called 'unacceptance' can ignite the explosive in each of us. Most of the time we have this feeling inside ourselves that what people are doing is not right or what is happening to me is not right. Instead we need to believe those every person whatever they are doing at their place are right in their place. Maybe his level of understanding is not well developed or he is not well aware. It may not be that he is knowingly making a mistake. You may accept as the way they are. Create another belief in your mind, that is 'What is happening, happen for a purpose.'

(4) Internal Communication:- This is the most important thing we can do to get rid of our anger permanently. The terrible unresourceful state of anger in our lives can be changed in a moment by some neurological alignment. Your brain will respond to the signals in the form of visual auditory and kinesthetic you send to it of an event or a person you think about. You can't change or control the event or the situation. You can only control the process of your thinking.

Suppose someone is screaming at you from very near. You want to scream back or want to hit on the mouth of them. In that perticular moment someone tell you that the person is hungry for two days. Will you have anger in this situation? No, on the contrary, you will be kind and careful to them. In this case, neither the event nor the situation changed. Just the story that you made up in your mind about the event has changed, the process of thought has changed. If you change the visual, auditory and kinesthetic of this unpleasant event, your personal representation will change completely. You will never get angry.

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How to get inspiration from within

Inspiration is the fuel to the journey of our own life. Inspiration helps us to be motivated and successful. It develops the power within. Inspiration is the quality that we can develop within ourselves.

                                                                               

Verious outside meterial or a lot of people can inspire us in different ways. If we go back to our childhood we ​​will see that sometimes a piece of chocolate given to us by our parents or the applause of the teacher has inspired us very much. Sometimes we are inspired by the clapping of the audience. Sometimes the pinch of another inspires us to give the appropriate answer. Again, this happens when we are inspired by a celebrity or someone in the family to whom we consider to be an ideal. When we grow up, our biggest inspiration is love and money. The story of achieving extraordinary success in someone's life inspires us a lot.

If you think a little deeper, you will see that all these are very interim. Whenever chocolate runs out your motivation disappears. As soon as you run out of pocket money, you will wander around with pain in your mind. We break down emotionally when the lover says goodbye.

The sooner a person or a meterial thing from the outside world can inspire you, the more it can demotivate you again. Just as inspiration from the outside world has a profound effect on our lives, in many cases it can lead to a destructive life. Young generation of the present age are becoming drug addicted at the instigation of the outside world. Addiction to the abuse of electronics-gadgets is rising up.

                                                                             

The right inspiration shows the way of potential to an indifferent person. Recent research has shown that inspiration can be activated, retained and manipulated from within, which can change the outcome of a human life.

If we can be inspired from our own minds, that motivation can never go away for a small reason. Only that inspiration can provide us with the logistics to guide us to the right path forever.

Now let's see how we can be inspired from within. The Creator has given us an infinitely powerful mind by which man has made the impossible to possible. And our own inspiration has worked behind all these accomplishments. At the root of this is 'why?'. Our minds always want to know 'why' before doing any work. That is, if you can give your mind the right answer to 'why' you are doing it and explain it with enough reason, then nothing else can stop you. The word 'why' has an extraordinary power.

There are two sides to our every task, one is positive and the other is negative. Most of the time we highlight the negative aspects to our minds and as a result we get uninspired. If we do the opposite, that is, if we can make our minds aware of the positive sides of the task, then we will be inspired from within. If your mind is satisfied with the answer to 'why' then strong desire will be created in you. Your strong desire can build your inspiration within. If you develop an intense Desire you will then make a firm resolve, when you have a firm resolve you will put in immense effort.

There are many parents throughout the world who want their son to become Sachin Tendulkar. They enrolls their kids in a good coaching academy, to encourage buys an expensive kit, takes him to the cricket ground by an expensive car, provide valuable foods. But about 90% of them quit the game a few days later. Why is this happened in spite of such external inspiration? For one thing, they are not inspired from within. Their minds are not satisfied with 'why'.

                                                                           

The little boy, today's world famous Sachin Tendulkar, from the very first day of his cricketing life, was able to explain his infinitely ugly and strong mind 'why' he will play cricket. He visualized the feeling of winning the cup for the country that day. Of course, his own inspiration was further boosted by external inspiration.

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What we talk to ourselves (affirmation) is very powerful to programme our Subconscious Mind

 

THE TABLE OF CONTENT

• The power of self-talk or affirmation.
• What are the examples of self-talk or affirmation?
• Why is self-talk important?
• What are the most useful kinds of self-talk?
• How self-talk may programme our Subconscious Mind.

There is a strange power in words that can build a person's life as well as ruin. We can't change the words spoken by others, but today I will talk about such words that you keep saying to yourself that is self affirmation. We usually talk to ourselves almost all the time while awaken. And I am sure that you are talking a lot in your mind while reading my article.

                                                                           

Affirmation is firmly establish oneself or one's statement. Self affirmation is positive phrases or Statesman used to challenge any obstacle created by our own negative thoughts. Confidence is grown up in our minds when this method is repeated. I don't know of any other tools better than self-Affirmation to motivate yourself, enhance your self-image and increase your values. 

We all want a great success and extraordinary performances in each and every area of our life. The efforts of our conscious mind are not enough to achieve the top-level performance or to achieve the ultimate success. This requires influencing our subconscious mind. Again without the help of the Conscious Mind we cannot influence the Subconscious Mind.

The power of a horse is many times greater than that of a horse rider. However, the horse behave in such ways as the rider trains and instruct.  Similarly we can compare our subconscious mind with the horse and the conscious mind with the rider. That is, even though the subconscious mind is very powerful, how it will behave depends on the training given by the conscious mind. Just as a horse understands the gesture of a bridle, so too the bridle of our subconscious mind is affirmation. You can consciously put this bridle in your mind.

If you notice, you can see for yourself that most of the conversations that take place in your own minds are very negative. Very naturally our subconscious mind is programmed in a negative way.

                                                                             

When we get any obstacles or face any challenge , this type of self-talk are running in or mind. 'I can't do it. It's impossible for me. I am not able to do so. I have no capacity. I have no more money. My circumstances are not supporting. Always I am unlucky' and more and more. By constantly doing all these negative self-talk, we lose belief and values in ourselves. Our confidence level drops to dust. We become mentally weak. And, the ominous impression of it effect in our daily lives, happiness disappears, the complexity of the relationship is started, career loses it's momentum.

Most of the people expect some miracle in life and hope to get everything magically. I will tell you it never happens. Those who are truly successful and those who have been successful for many years have improved themselves in every moment, change their own thought processes, programmed their minds.

You need to be careful about your self-talking. It will make such a big difference in your life. Here are some examples of positive affirmations. 'I can do it. I have more than enough. I am very confident. I love myself. I am doing my best. I am worthy. I believe in myself'.

                                                                             

Positive affirmations not only helps to succeed in life but helps to concentrate on work, maintain good health, strengthens the nervous system, increases self-esteem. If we can combine visualization with positive affirmation, it will work like a charm in our lives.

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Why self- love is very important to human beings

TABLE OF CONTENT

• Self-love phycology.
• Why self-love is very important?
• The power of self-love.
• What is the feeling of self-love?
• How do you develop self-love?

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Not only human beings, all living beings are crazy about love. All of us expect someone to love us. Of course, the definition of love is different to everyone. And that is why we always hope that someone like us will love us. Whenever we don't get love like the picture painted in our minds, just a little sideways, we start blaming.

                                                                           

Now tell me how many of you love yourself? I'm sure this question is bound to stir your mind! If we loved ourselves, we wouldn't have to put up warning signs in places or on the side of the road. There are many resources of love in this universe but to get that soft touch of love you have to love yourself first. Many may say that self-love means selfishness. In this society, loving oneself is a guilt. Okay , assume that's right!  So tell me now, if you love yourself, you must take steps to keep your body healthy.  You do exercise and diet control, are you harming anyone? If you drink as much water as your body needs, will it harm anyone? 

In our school, at home, we are taught to love others, to help others, to do good deeds but never tell or teach yourself to love. Self love is to build a good relationship with one's inner soul not to be selfish. Just like an automobile needs maintenance, it needs to be filled with fuel, otherwise it can't run. In the same way we need fuel to maintain the speed of life, its name is self love. From the moment we love ourselves, we will begin to enjoy some of the most positive changes in our lives. Strangely enough you will notice that things that seemed complicated are becoming much easier, relationships are improving, health is getting better.

Looking at the COVID situation throughout the world, you will understand why we are repeatedly asked to wear Musk. If you don't love yourself and don't use a mask, it will increase the danger of your loved ones and will harm the society. The beginning of love starts from one's heart. And if you don't learn to love yourself, how can you love others with your empty treasure? If you don't love yourself, you will feel frustrated, and this society abandons frustrated people.

Loving yourself means taking care of yourself and giving importance to your own needs. The vehicles we use to transport goods or passengers will break down in the middle of the road if you don't take care of it. Similarly, if you don't love yourself and don't take care of yourself, the pace of your life will dimmed. 

                                                                             

If you don't have peace of mind, the happiness of the outside world becomes annoying to you. Music for a birthday party or wedding ceremony will make you feel painful when you have a headache. The more you love yourself, the happier you will be,  feel goodness about yourself. If you are a believer in God, then I must say that you should take care of the God that is within you, the 'MIND', then idolatry will be not needed to please the outside God. If you love yourself, you will not become selfish, you will not become guilty, but you will feel much more grateful, you will become much more helpful. Fill yourself with the bright light of love that light will spread automatically in this society.

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Why and How Visualization may become one of the most powerful tools to achieve our goals

TABLE OF CONTENT

• What is the exact meaning of visualization?
• What is an example of visualizing?
• Power of visualization.
• Is visualization a thinking?
• How do you practice visualization?

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Visualization is one of our fictional films created in our mind about future plans or goals that we seem to be enjoying it right now. It is a highly effective technique that consciously conveys our goals and ideas to our most powerful subconscious mind. If we can convey our pure thoughts with feelings and emotions to our subconscious mind the subconscious mind becomes active to give its real form. But it is not so that you did visualization and got everything. Visualization will cleam the way for you to achieve your goals and then you need to take appropriate action. I will not go through the explanation of how to do visualization. This is a very simple method of course if you have no doubts in your mind. In many cases we do unconscious visualization which we do not understand consciously.

                                                                             

I will discuss more in this context which makes our minds conflict. That is why we do visualization, or its relevance. What's the science behind that to make it so powerful tools. Before going into this context, I will mention a few facts in front of you. 

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Henry Ford,  a historically popular figure who was an American industrialist and formulated the assembly line method for automobile manufacturing. Who revolutionized industry in the world. He was educated at the local one-room school for eight years. It was there that he first showed interest in mechanical instruments. So he revolutionized the automobile industry, or the Ford motors he made, on his mental screen through visualization long ago. Another example......

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Arunima Sinha, Indian Mountain Climber and Sports Woman, is the world's first female amputee to scale Mount Everest, Mount Elbrus, Mount Aconcagua, Mount Kosciusko, Mount Kilimanjaro, Mount Vinson and Carstensz Pyramid. She was pushed from a running train by miscreants. As a result, her left leg was amputated below the knee, and a rod was inserted into her right leg, even the spine had multiple fractures. During the treatment, lying in a hospital bed, she visualise to climb up on Mount Everest.

Also think of any discovery, everything but visualised in the human brain then manifested in this world. This is the power of visualization, this is one of the unseen wonders of the world.

                                                                         

Information goes to our minds in the forms of Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic (touch, smell, test) and all information are filtered by our logical mind that is conscious mind. After filtering the conscious mind, whatever information is sent to the subconscious mind, the subconscious mind accepts it as a true and is busy on implementing it. Our subconscious mind does not know what is right and what is wrong. 

Our conscious mind does not allow every thoughs to reach our subconscious mind easily. However, by following certain paths, information can be easily conveyed to the subconscious mind.

(1) Logic:- Our Conscious Mind tries to understand everything with logic and only when it is logically satisfied does it convey information to the subconscious mind.

(2) Repetition:- Anything we see, say or hear over and over again is registered in our subconscious mind. Repetition is one of the best tool to communicate with our subconscious mind.

(3) Emotions:- When we become emotional, of that moment any event, conversation or thought is directly registered in our subconscious mind.

(4) Hypnosis:- The word 'Hypno' means 'sleep' and  the meaning of 'Hypnosis' is 'Induced sleep'. This means in that state our conscious mind falls asleep and there is no obstacle to stop any information. As a result,  any information goes straight to our subconscious mind and implanted.

                                                                         

Visualization is the only way to maintain all the methods described above. Visualization creates a Cristal clear emage in our subconscious mind. This tools programmed our mind to find out the ways towards our success and make us ready to take action. The Creator has given us a higher faculty by which we can imagine and create different realities. When you have a vision and consciously drawing pictures in your mind, your thoughts will settle in your subconscious mind.

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The best and effective methods on How to manage & relieve stress easily by working on your Mind

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About the Article:

• What are signs of stress?
• What are symptoms of stress?
• Physical & Mental effects of stress.
• What are the causes of stress?
• Management & prevention of stress.

 

Stress is the feelings of being overwhelmed or unable to emulate with mental or emotional pressure which causes the opposite effect on our body and mind. In term of NLP Stress is one of our mental states that makes us unresourceful. In everyday life it often gets augmented when we face new challenges, feel that something is going out of our control or something unexpected happens. Stresses produce numerous physical and mental symptoms and vary according to the cause of different situations in each person. Many unpleasant things happen in our daily life and we also have to face many demands which cause stress. Stress is one of the things that can ruin our inner beauty. Various researches have shown that if this stress is not managed properly, it can lead to various human diseases, such as headache, insomnia, increased anger, feeling tense, depression, lack of concentration, reluctance to eat etc. Many researches have shown that stresses are the causes high blood pressure and even affect our immune system.

                                                                             

Many experts have come up with different ideas on how to reduce stress. For hundreds of years, people have been trying in different ways to reduce stress, like fasting, ritual, listening music, chanting, sex, exercise, drugs etc. All of these methods work but within a certain limit. The reason is that we do not go into the main content or deep down. Many people are not aware of that 'stress is an unresourceful state in our minds'. So if we know what our state is and how to change it, we can easily get rid of stress no matter what the situation is. 

The state is the equivalent to all our experiences at a particular moment in a particular time, in other words, the state is the sum of all neurological processes at a particular moment. In very simple language we call it the mood of a certain moment. Now think if we work properly on our brains and figure out how to move from a unresourceful state to a resourceful state easily, we would be able to overcome any stress.

                                                                               

Let's see how this state is created. Our physiology and personal internal representations combine to form our state, that is, what we see, what and how we think, what we listen, what and how we say to ourselves about an event or situation makes our state. For example, Suppose you went to meet a person according to a rescheduled appointment, after arriving you find that he is absent. What will be your condition at that moment, what will be your behaviour? If your brain paints a picture of him he is avoiding you or insulting you, you will get angry and annoyed. And if your brain makes a picture that he is out on an urgent need or forced out, your empathy will grow and you will have a peace of mind. That is, the most important thing is how we perceive and represent the outside world to our mind that influences our state. 

Personal internal representation is your own personal experience sent to the brain about an event, person, object, etc.. This results in different reactions from different people about the same event.  If you like comedy movies, other people like romantic. Someone is loving a job that you don't like. Personal internal representation will change if one's own point of view changes. 

With this, physiology playing a very important role, you can never go to a unresourceful state by straightening your body, bloating your chest, and raising your head. That means our mussels tension, posture, breathing pattern, what we eat, everything affects our state. Again, if you have sadness in your mind, if you are upset, if there is mental turmoil, your body posture automatically goes down. You can go into the resourceful state by changing your physiology.

                                                                               

In addition to all these, if you continue regular exercise, meditation, chanting or listening to music, your mind will easily become stress-free.

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The factors, responsible for our demotivation and how to get motivated

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TABLE OF CONTENT

• What is the most important thing about motivation?
• Factors work behind our demotivation. 
• What are your motivating factors?
• What skills do you need for motivation?
• What are the areas of motivation?
• How can we always be motivated?

We all want to be motivated to reach  goals and also in all the activities of our daily lives. Sometimes we temporarily become very motivated about certain things. After a few hours or a few days, that motivation disappears automatically. We all know what to do in our own field or which way to go. For example, a student knows how to read well, a family member knows what to do for the family and how. A businessman or an employee knows how to speed things up, even though they have lost their mental strength to do so. Everything becomes irrational and meaningless without motivation. The power of motivation makes everything from waking up to studying, working, and even eating and drinking enjoyable, pleasant, and easy. Without motivation, it is almost impossible to achieve any of your big goals.

                                         

Let me give you a few examples with which you can relate real life events. Suppose you go for a tour or excursion somewhere and you will have to go out at five in the morning, you get excited and get up at four if you aren't an Early Riser. But you find it difficult to wake up at five in the morning to go for a walk or exercise. Or if one day you have to go out for office work at 5 in the morning, you will see that your energy has gone down a lot; you don't want to get up, even if the clock rings repeatedly. In all cases, the only challenge you have is to get up at five in the morning. Though in each case your attitude is different, this is because of motivation and demotivation.

If you look at simply waking up, you will understand how energetic you are at the time of going out for an outing. It is because of our excitement! If our logical mind is completely satisfied with the ongoing questions about a task, we never lose interest or get demotivated to the task. Getting up in the morning is a similar challenge for you but your logical mind is satisfied because the mind is the solicitor to see or enjoy the beauty; that is, the mind will be filled with joy when you go out. The questions running through your mind, what will you see, what will you eat, how much will you enjoy, how much will you enjoy the beauty of the place, etc. So the logical mind is logically satisfied with the whole process of what we're going to get and how, that is our outcome. 

On the contrary, if you have to wake up at the same time for some office work, the logical mind has not been satisfied with the information that we give it, and we become demotivated. You will also check that this information usually goes, I do not enjoy the work, it is very difficult to get up in the morning, how to get to work, when the work will be finished, how to return home, if the work is not completed, what is my benefit in this work? etc. That is, our mind suffers from uncertainty and feels insecure. Ultimately it is not clear to our minds what we will achieve by doing the work so our minds lose motivation and suffer from infighting. Several factors work behind our demotivation. 

(1) FEAR:- Excessive thinking and complicated thinking about something creates fear in our minds. This fear disturbs our minds, makes our minds hesitant. Fear is not always our obstacle; but sometimes it becomes very useful to us and careful for us.

(2) LACK OF CLARITY:- What you are going to do, why you are going to do it; how to do it, what is the real result! If we do not have a clear picture in our minds about these, we automatically become demotivated.

3) CONFLICT OF BELIEFS AND VALUES:- Values are our own personal and unique belief in what is most important to us; belief in what is right and wrong. If we don't have belief in the values of a task in our mind, conflict starts in our mind and we also become de-motivated.

(4) PHYSICAL ILLNESS:- We often lose motivation due to our physical illness. Our minds become very weak when we are physically ill. Our physiology and personal internal representation influence each other, so our mind goes down when our physiology is in an unresourceful state.
We are usually motivated in two ways. (1) we can be motivated by external sources (2) we can be motivated by our own mind.

1)MOTIVATION BY EXTERNAL SOURCES:-
In this case, an outsider, be it your lover, a motivational speaker or someone else, or the attraction to money or other things may encourage you and you feel motivated. Usually this type of inspiration is not long lasting to keep your motivation up. In most cases these are temporary stimuli and within a few days the inner conflict resumes and we become demotivated. The main reason for this is that they do not work from the root. Many times financial rewards, compliments, progress, competitions are inspirational as boosters to motivate in a specific task. 

2)MOTIVATED BY OUR OWN MIND:- If we are motivated from within our minds for a task, the motivation never goes away. In order to be motivated from within, we need to get rid of unreasonable fears. If we ask ourselves, 'what is stopping me? What am I afraid of? What is the real purpose behind this fear?' our mind will give us a reality about the obstacles, then we can easily find out the way to overcome them.
Before doing any work or setting a goal, give the mind full clarity about the work, how to do it, when to do it, in how many days it will take, what will be your achievements. Ask yourself what is most important to you. As I said before, fear is sometimes helpful to us.

If you try to remember a little bit, you will find that in the past you were motivated a lot on something bigger than the present task and you have achieved success. One thing to keep in mind is that 'we already have the resources to motivate'. Just waiting to awaken those up with the right tools.

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How can mental anxiety turn a person's beautiful life into hell?

I am mentioning once again the famous quote of John Milton, the Western philosopher

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven"..

Howard Hughes in full Howard Robart Hughes, Jr. ( Born December 24,1905, Houston Texas. Died - April 5,1976 in an Airplane over Southern Texas), was an American manufacturer, aviator, producer and director of Hollywood film. He was one of the wealthiest person. He gained so much fame as a playboy that many famous heroines fell in love and went out with him. Yet when he was 45 years old the fear of germs overwhelmed his life. Whenever he thought he was disinfected, he would be terrified of being attacked by germs from outside. Specific rules were laid down for all of his servants. They should wash their hands repeatedly with soap and wipe their hands with tissues before supplying food. He himself used to wash his hands with soap in such a way that blood would come out from his own hands. He used to cover his feet with tissue bags. When he noticed that a servant was sick, he would ordered to burn his wardrobe so that it would be completely sterile.

            He became a reduse and practically met nobody apart from his closest aides. He spent most of his last life in various confidential luxury hotels in the Bahamas, Nicaragha, Mexico, Canada, England, Vegas, etc., with utmost secrecy. At the age of 70, he found himself in complete captivity in his own dengeon, both mentally and physically, before he died. Such a man who, in spite of having so much fame, money, power, was miserable because not of the lack of anything external, but only because of his lack of willpower, lack of mind set. Unnecessary fear made his last life hell. He got everything he wanted in the world but was forced to distant himself from everything because he did not make his mind beautiful and did not program the mind. Everything was ready for him in the outside world to enjoy the ultimate joy of life and almost everything was under his control.  The only thing he didn't control was his own thoughts, own mind. He was a man who looked at the world with an external cripple of control. The focous of such people are of what other people are doing, what their behavior is, how external events affect their lives, what control they have, and so on. As a result, they feel helpless, upset, bitter and frustrated. Those who can control their minds know that they have only control over themselves. They are very confident in their own abilities. They know that many things may be happened in the outside world but they have complete control over what their reaction will be.

        You will have to open the window of your mind to see the beauty of outside world. The door of the mind must be opened so that the excellent beauty of the Universe can be entered. Our closed mind is simply nestle panic whether it is terrified of a virus attack or of death.

        So if you don't have control over your mind, if you don't program your mind, your name and fame, wealth, power in the outside world, everything will be worthless.

        I explained in a previous post how a life can go from hell to heaven with a beautiful life story and in this post I showed how a life  turns from heaven to hell. There are two ways open to each of us. If we use our minds consciously, we will be able to walk in the right way.

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The real way to 'how the MIND itself can turn someone's life from hell to heaven'.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven"..

               John Milton, Author ( Paradise Lost),             

                                                                           

Today I will tell you a short story of Sindhutai Sapkal, the lady called "Mother of Orphans", whose nickname is Chindhi, which means a torn piece of cloth,  was born on 14 November 1948 (age 72 years), Wardha, who was forced to drop out of fourth grade due to her family's commitment and early marriage. At the age of 10, she was married to a 30-year's-old man. When she was twenty, her husband beat her and threw her away and she was then nine months pregnant. Later, on the same day, she gave birth to a baby girl in a barn and walked a few kilometers to her mother's house. Her mother drove her away without giving her shelter. In such a helpless state, finding nothing, she finally cut off her umbilical cord with a sharp stone. This incident left such a deep scar on her mind that she wanted to commit suicide. Later she got rid of that thought and started begging at the railway station to bring after her daughter. While begging, she saw that there were many helpless children who are abandoned by their parents, and were begging with a lot of pain in their lives. She felt their pain and decided to adopt them. Her new war started, and she began begging loudly to put a handful of food in the mouths of the helpless children. Gradually she decided she would adopt all the Orphan kids there and she did so.

    

So far as she has adopted and cared for more than fifteen hundred Orphan Children. Not only that, she has taken all responsibility for their education, marriage, and establishment. Many of them are now established as doctors, engineers, or lawyers. She has won over 500 awards so far and she spent all the prize money on her children. She was conferred the Padma Shri in 2021 in the Social Work category. Many of you may know the life story of Dr. Sindhutai Sapkal. This story is probably inspiring many of you, or will, but most do not know that her mind is the mastermind of this outstanding achievement. There was no one or nothing with her. With her, there was no society, no environment, and no relatives. Except only one resource that is her mind'. It is this mind that has shown her the way out of the most complex problems and has given her the urge to live. She had many reasons to give up and commit suicide. Whenever she shifted her mind to the neglected children on the way, her mind comforted her by saying, "Look, these helpless children need you more than yours." Inspired by saying "You have to do something for them." From the core of her mind, she realized, 'What is the purpose of her life!' That's why she said, "I am there for all those who have no one". 

                            

Most of us (more than 95 percent) don't know what our purpose is. So we give up everything when something happens a little. We never ask ourselves, 'Did I come to this world for a purpose?' If you find your purpose in life, your life will be filled with happiness. This universe will give you a lot of logistics to survive. You can never harvest gold by scattering grass seeds in your fertile land. When you see a corpse coming out of the hospital, you start wailing, thinking, and saying all the negative things. Have you ever noticed how many new babies are being born in that hospital every day? Ever said 'wow what a wonderful!'

 

Our mind always wants to avoid pain and gain pleasure. The same thing happened with 'Mother of Orphans'. She was thinking about her pain all the time. She repeatedly told herself about the extreme pain of her life. In the end, she decided to commit suicide to get rid of that pain. Whenever she saw and thought about the street children, she immediately began to enjoy the pleasure of being able to do something for those children, the joy of being able to help others, and the joy of devoting herself to the welfare of others. Her mind was shifted to gain pleasure and today its real form is our 'Mother of Orphans'.

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