How to strengthen our emotions even in any negative situation

 

What we will learn from this article:

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Some common parenting problems and how to solve them

"There are many people through out the world to criticize children, but only parents are to love, to cherish.  Children are the safest only to their parents"....

                        .........Swagata (Ghosh) Maity

Every parents in the world wants their child to be the best, to be established, to be healthy, to have a good education, to be a real person. Parents start dreaming after the birth of a child. As the child grew older, the parents impose that dream on the child. If the child does not follow the path of the dream developed by the parents, they try to force to follow up. This has become the meaning of parenting in our society.

                                                                             

Parenting doesn't mean that.  Parenting means raising a child from infancy to adulthood, helping the child's physical, mental, social and intellectual development.

Now I come straight to the point where we, as parents make mistakes and how we can easily guide them to the correct way and build a perfect, bright children. 

Accept as they are:- At the very tender age, a child tell everything what is happening with him to his parents. When the child grows up, the parents ask but do not want to say anything. Where the relationship was changed? When a child remain infant, parents are happy to listen about him, they smile and accept him. Gradually, when the child grows older, parents begin to pay less attention to the child. When the child says something to their parents with keen interest, most of the time the parents do not want to listen to them rather even if they do, they immediately reject it. The tone of the rule came out of the parents 'throats,' Why did you do that?  Never do it again'. 

                                                                           

Suppose a ten or twelve years old child leaves school and goes to play with friends without informing his parents. When the child returned home, he wanted to tell the whole story openly in genuine interest. As soon as the child returns home, the parents start scolding him without giving any importance to the child. If this happens a few times, that implanted in child's mind that the 'parents are not reliable, I can’t share everything with them.' Gradually he began to hide from his parents what had happened outside. And he's looking for someone to share them with.  Only then did his attraction to the outside world increase and his friends become more reliable and sincere to him than parents. His distance from his parents also increased day by day. If we accept the child as soon as he returns home without any angry reaction and say that 'it is okay what you have done, but you are a very good boy, you should not do these things.'

Answer the question:- Most parents tell their child 'Don't do this, don't do that'. Listening to these, the question arises in the mind of the child, 'What should I do then?' We did not answer this wonderful question of his childhood, on the contrary we show him anger, we try to keep him down. Try to answer all the questions of the child which will help him to fulfill his thirst of knowledge properly.

The children is not your property:- Children only come through you, not from you. Most parents think of their child as their own property or future investment. The behavior of the parents towards the child continues as usual.  If the child is not on the path tied by the parents, he will be scolded and even beaten. Instead of teaching the child to walk, we determine the way of life, we try to change the way of his or her life. Discipline is definitely needed but if there is no harmony between discipline and love then it becomes rule.

Look at yourself carefully:- A child tries to copy exactly his parents.  So take care of what you are doing yourself, your behavior, your speech, even your thoughts. Each of these is directly or indirectly ingrained in your child's mind and how his brain continues to develop. So if you want to raise your child then improve yourself, raise yourself.

                                                                         

Never compare child with any other:- Every child is individual. Raise his/ her capacity. Don't try to mold them. Almost every parent tries to put their child in some mold. Some parents wants their child to be like them and some parents want their child to be like some ideal person or they compare him with another child. Such comparisons create jealousy, ego in the child's mind, can make them superior or inferior.

Criticism:- Never criticise or use any negative statements to your child. Even you have to avoid any negative thoughts to him/her. 'My child is naughty, very slow, the child is lazy' etc. Never use this kind of negative sentences. It builds his identity, his level.

Reward make sense:- Children and even adults are very happy with the rewards before or after doing something. Reward each child for their small good deeds. Reward means I am not talking about any material things here, reward can be applause, praise or any tapping, hug, love. Pretend not to notice the child's mistakes. Give much importance to their small good deeds.

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Why self- love is very important to human beings

TABLE OF CONTENT

• Self-love phycology.
• Why self-love is very important?
• The power of self-love.
• What is the feeling of self-love?
• How do you develop self-love?

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Not only human beings, all living beings are crazy about love. All of us expect someone to love us. Of course, the definition of love is different to everyone. And that is why we always hope that someone like us will love us. Whenever we don't get love like the picture painted in our minds, just a little sideways, we start blaming.

                                                                           

Now tell me how many of you love yourself? I'm sure this question is bound to stir your mind! If we loved ourselves, we wouldn't have to put up warning signs in places or on the side of the road. There are many resources of love in this universe but to get that soft touch of love you have to love yourself first. Many may say that self-love means selfishness. In this society, loving oneself is a guilt. Okay , assume that's right!  So tell me now, if you love yourself, you must take steps to keep your body healthy.  You do exercise and diet control, are you harming anyone? If you drink as much water as your body needs, will it harm anyone? 

In our school, at home, we are taught to love others, to help others, to do good deeds but never tell or teach yourself to love. Self love is to build a good relationship with one's inner soul not to be selfish. Just like an automobile needs maintenance, it needs to be filled with fuel, otherwise it can't run. In the same way we need fuel to maintain the speed of life, its name is self love. From the moment we love ourselves, we will begin to enjoy some of the most positive changes in our lives. Strangely enough you will notice that things that seemed complicated are becoming much easier, relationships are improving, health is getting better.

Looking at the COVID situation throughout the world, you will understand why we are repeatedly asked to wear Musk. If you don't love yourself and don't use a mask, it will increase the danger of your loved ones and will harm the society. The beginning of love starts from one's heart. And if you don't learn to love yourself, how can you love others with your empty treasure? If you don't love yourself, you will feel frustrated, and this society abandons frustrated people.

Loving yourself means taking care of yourself and giving importance to your own needs. The vehicles we use to transport goods or passengers will break down in the middle of the road if you don't take care of it. Similarly, if you don't love yourself and don't take care of yourself, the pace of your life will dimmed. 

                                                                             

If you don't have peace of mind, the happiness of the outside world becomes annoying to you. Music for a birthday party or wedding ceremony will make you feel painful when you have a headache. The more you love yourself, the happier you will be,  feel goodness about yourself. If you are a believer in God, then I must say that you should take care of the God that is within you, the 'MIND', then idolatry will be not needed to please the outside God. If you love yourself, you will not become selfish, you will not become guilty, but you will feel much more grateful, you will become much more helpful. Fill yourself with the bright light of love that light will spread automatically in this society.

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How can mental anxiety turn a person's beautiful life into hell?

I am mentioning once again the famous quote of John Milton, the Western philosopher

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven"..

Howard Hughes in full Howard Robart Hughes, Jr. ( Born December 24,1905, Houston Texas. Died - April 5,1976 in an Airplane over Southern Texas), was an American manufacturer, aviator, producer and director of Hollywood film. He was one of the wealthiest person. He gained so much fame as a playboy that many famous heroines fell in love and went out with him. Yet when he was 45 years old the fear of germs overwhelmed his life. Whenever he thought he was disinfected, he would be terrified of being attacked by germs from outside. Specific rules were laid down for all of his servants. They should wash their hands repeatedly with soap and wipe their hands with tissues before supplying food. He himself used to wash his hands with soap in such a way that blood would come out from his own hands. He used to cover his feet with tissue bags. When he noticed that a servant was sick, he would ordered to burn his wardrobe so that it would be completely sterile.

            He became a reduse and practically met nobody apart from his closest aides. He spent most of his last life in various confidential luxury hotels in the Bahamas, Nicaragha, Mexico, Canada, England, Vegas, etc., with utmost secrecy. At the age of 70, he found himself in complete captivity in his own dengeon, both mentally and physically, before he died. Such a man who, in spite of having so much fame, money, power, was miserable because not of the lack of anything external, but only because of his lack of willpower, lack of mind set. Unnecessary fear made his last life hell. He got everything he wanted in the world but was forced to distant himself from everything because he did not make his mind beautiful and did not program the mind. Everything was ready for him in the outside world to enjoy the ultimate joy of life and almost everything was under his control.  The only thing he didn't control was his own thoughts, own mind. He was a man who looked at the world with an external cripple of control. The focous of such people are of what other people are doing, what their behavior is, how external events affect their lives, what control they have, and so on. As a result, they feel helpless, upset, bitter and frustrated. Those who can control their minds know that they have only control over themselves. They are very confident in their own abilities. They know that many things may be happened in the outside world but they have complete control over what their reaction will be.

        You will have to open the window of your mind to see the beauty of outside world. The door of the mind must be opened so that the excellent beauty of the Universe can be entered. Our closed mind is simply nestle panic whether it is terrified of a virus attack or of death.

        So if you don't have control over your mind, if you don't program your mind, your name and fame, wealth, power in the outside world, everything will be worthless.

        I explained in a previous post how a life can go from hell to heaven with a beautiful life story and in this post I showed how a life  turns from heaven to hell. There are two ways open to each of us. If we use our minds consciously, we will be able to walk in the right way.

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