"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.".... Buddha
Anger is one of our emotional states. We all experience it in life. We can show anger means it is beyond our control or someone or something or some events may make us angry.
In first case anger may become our assets when it is under our control and when we utilise it in a proper way, in a suitable situation. It can protect you from misrule by others.
In the second case, that is, when our anger is controlled by something external, it is our discredit. It is your defeat, it is the loss of your life, it can bring disaster into your life, it can even take your life away. This kind of anger can turn a person to an animal.
Both of these two resources are present in us. Whichever of these you inhance will become the director of your life. That will create your identity.
We get angry when we try to control others and we get out of control. Think about it, if you have no control over yourself, how do you control something external?
People who get angry for little things are all very aware of the issue and understand very well what kind of disaster this anger has caused or will bring to their own lives. All of these people have repeatedly said that anger needs to be reduced, but they burst in perticular situation.
There are deep reasons behind this which we do not understand or try to understand. Firstly, the person who get angry in very little has created his own identity by repeatedly telling himself that 'I am angry'. Almost everyone in their family and friends identified them as an 'angry person'. In some cases, parents say that 'my child is very angry'. Repeated use of such kinds of words is ingrained in the unconscious mind of the person or child without our conscious awareness. This kind of generalization about oneself or the child or someone in the family creates a belief in the mind that influences his or her actions. Later in future it become his or her behaviour.
Secondly, we hand over the control of our minds to the environment as well as to the people around us. Naturally, when all these external things do not work according to us, we get excited. In some cases you will see that one person gets angry when he sees another person. This means that the second person has become the trigger of the first person's anger.
Thirdly, when we are not comfortable, that is, suffering from depression, physical illness, a traumatic event occurs. Then we automatically feel an irritating pain from the inside which causes us to become angry.
How can you manage your anger:-
(1) Relaxation Techniques:- Sit in a quiet secluded place at certain times each day and take long deep breaths slowly and when you exhale slowly, pronounce the word 'relax'. Repeat this process ten to fifteen times.
(2) Deley The Response:- Our brain responds in two ways to an event. The first is the immediate response that comes out in the hit of the moment which is not a rational or the logical. On the other hand another response is coming after 10 to 15 minutes. This response is very logical or rational. If you respond a little late to an incident, your response will be very reasonable and without anger. When you get very angry for some reason, temporarily remove yourself from the situation until you become cool and calm.
(3) Unacceptanc:- The matchstick called 'unacceptance' can ignite the explosive in each of us. Most of the time we have this feeling inside ourselves that what people are doing is not right or what is happening to me is not right. Instead we need to believe those every person whatever they are doing at their place are right in their place. Maybe his level of understanding is not well developed or he is not well aware. It may not be that he is knowingly making a mistake. You may accept as the way they are. Create another belief in your mind, that is 'What is happening, happen for a purpose.'
(4) Internal Communication:- This is the most important thing we can do to get rid of our anger permanently. The terrible unresourceful state of anger in our lives can be changed in a moment by some neurological alignment. Your brain will respond to the signals in the form of visual auditory and kinesthetic you send to it of an event or a person you think about. You can't change or control the event or the situation. You can only control the process of your thinking.
Suppose someone is screaming at you from very near. You want to scream back or want to hit on the mouth of them. In that perticular moment someone tell you that the person is hungry for two days. Will you have anger in this situation? No, on the contrary, you will be kind and careful to them. In this case, neither the event nor the situation changed. Just the story that you made up in your mind about the event has changed, the process of
thought has changed. If you change the visual, auditory and kinesthetic of this unpleasant event, your personal representation will change completely. You will never get angry.
