How to guide and behave with your teenagers in the right way as a parent

Table of Content

• Teenagers' problems with parents.
• How to live with a teenager.
• How to guide teenagers properly.
• How to raise a successful teenager.
• How to behave with teenagers.

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In today's world, every parent is very worried about their teenager. Being a parent, are you not worried about one of the following!

• The child's/ teenager's education. 
• Child's physical and mental development.
• Guiding the child in the right direction and reaching the perfect goal.
• In the heyday of social media and gaming, how to keep the child away from these.
• During adolescence, the attraction toward the outside world, i.e. friends, and clubs increases.
• Teenagers are now increasingly prone to drinking and smoking.
• Tendency to underage sex and the possibility of sexual abuse.
• Turning away from nutritious homemade vegetables they are more attracted to junk food and spicy and tasty readymade foods.
• Increasing anger and stubbornness.

Every parent must think about the progress and development of the child but must remember that their thinking must not go to the point of anxiety. The first and foremost duty of a parent is to guide the teenagers in the right direction. It is also the responsibility of the parents to make the child aware of the world as the child sees the light of the world through them. Perhaps the most beautiful thing in the world for a parent is to see his or her child can move forward on the right path in life with great confidence and determination after being left alone. 

When a child learns to walk on his own two feet, he walks with confidence, parents become happy to see him, and their minds are filled with joy, just as if a teenager is on the right path and has confidence in his/her goals, towards establishing himself/ herself, his/ her parents are filled with pride and joy.

The minds of each and every one of us, from children to the elderly, wander from hither and thither. Our mind receives billions of bits of information every second, but out of them it processes and registers a very small fraction of them.  As adults, we all know what we should and shouldn't register in our minds, but many bad habits, bad news, and bad events which disturb us are registered in our minds and we carry it. Now think of a child or teenager, their logical mind is not well developed, and their experience is also very low, naturally what is attractive to them, gives instant pleasure will quickly register in their mind. 

One of our extraordinary and incomparable qualities, as human beings are curiosity, the curiosity of understanding something new. From infants to teenagers this level of interest is extra. Adults are able to understand what is good and what is bad through various experiences and thus control their own interests.  No teenagers restrain interest or want to do so or they have such experience to do so.  On the contrary, until they are able to unravel the mystery or find out something like them, they get excited about things. The last two years, especially since the Covid 19 Pandemic Situation, have had a profound effect on the mental and physical health of everyone from children to teenagers, which we as parents have rarely realized. In some cases, however, this can be perceived as an increase in the severity of the child and they are using it in a negative way. The tendency of committing suicide among teenagers is increasing day by day.

Almost every family in the present age suffers from the problems of teenagers.  Getting teenagers out from here is not a big deal. The really serious problem is to get teenagers out of such situations, out of such negatives, the way we use them, the way we live our lives, the way we behave with them. Adolescents are unlikely to change their minds unless their parents change their behavior and thinking. Parents will follow the usual way, give priority to their likes and dislikes, and try to impose restrictions on their children and they will have to follow their instructions, then they will go astray. 

These are small but very important points I will discuss that every parent should consciously pay attention to. Remember that any pressure or counseling will not work unless you change these little things about yourself and your home environment. 

                                                                               

How to guide and behave with  your teenagers:

Remember that you are parents, not their ruler: Young children want to spend time open-heartedly, talk heartily and of course, they have a desire to learn new things. It is no doubt the error generally done by the parents from the beginning that is instead of behaving as friends with their children they became the hard rules. You will see, we always try hard to control the child from their very childhood, feed them forcefully when they don't want to eat, scold them whenever not want to read, stop them when they want to go to play, we forbid them to touch anything. Repeatedly the ill effects of such behavior continue to fall on children.  Gradually their behavior begins to change and become defendants and want to be independent, though may not say anything in fear but try to find a way to get rid of this bondage. In order to protest against such behavior of parents, they try to do more things that parents do not like. Never try to rule them, even if they do wrong.  Be patient, talk to them slowly and explain to them, what could happen to their lives if they do something you don't like, and what opportunities they will miss. Explain to them what they will get in the future if they obey. 

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Become the best friend, philosopher, and guide of your child: Teenage is a very sensitive age, as friendship grows, so does the possibility of falling in love for the first time. There is nothing wrong with either of them, but the problem is, what kind of company did they have or whom did they fall in love with. This type of tendency is more prevalent in teenagers because many of them want to share a lot and want to talk openly. The child spends most of the time with the parents but cannot share with them because the parents do not make friends with their child. They take care of the child, listen to the caresses, but mix with the children like a friend, give importance to their words, and give importance to their likes and dislikes, these remain vague. Interact with the child from the heart so that they have the freedom to share everything, to feel free. Being serious and always trying to dominate children, especially teenagers increases the stubbornness and anger many times over.

Encourage the child, and become their trust, supporters. Encourage them to do different things, and always inspire them to make certain choices without trying to stop them. 

At the time of making rules in the family, apply them equally to everyone: It is a small thing but its effects are far-reaching. Suppose you tell your child or make a rule for him/her to get up at 6 in the morning every day, you and the rest of the family must follow this rule also. Never let the feeling come to him/her that there are different rules for him/her, he/she is alone at home, no one else is with him/her. This feeling will drive them away from you, depress them, and make them stubborn. 

Don't try to hide anything from teenagers: If you try to hide something from your child, it will become a mystery to them. They will somehow try to unravel that mystery and even If he/she has to take a bad approach, he/she will have no regrets. Suppose you want to hide a key in your drawers, they will look for that key first, otherwise, they will not hesitate to break it. In the same way that may be mobile, money or anything even some discussion also, don't try to hide from them.

Your child is the best and unique, stop comparing with others: If you don't have faith and trust in your child, then where they can get confidence! I'm sure 99 out of 100 parents compare their child to someone else. They try to convince their child by drawing comparisons with other teenagers. It leaves a negative impact on the mind of any teenager and lowers self-image and self-esteem. Most of parents have the misconception that it is a kind of constructive discussion or comparison but it hits the child's unconscious mind. It is the responsibility of the parents to identify the unique qualities of each teenager and inspire and help them to move forward in that direction. Trying to stop the child from there will be counterproductive.

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• How do you develop self-control to be a strong personality
• Find Out the Answer to 'What Should You Do in Your Life?'
• Transform your Adversity into Great Success
• How is it important for us to have the presence of mind, observation skills, and logical reasoning?
• How can we get rid of our biggest challenge - 'Financial Struggle' in life.

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How is it important for us to have presence of mind,observation skills,logical reasoning?

Table of Contents

• What is Presence of Mind.
• How is it important for us to have presence of mind,observation skills,logical reasoning.
• How can we sharpened our presence of mind, observation skills and logical reasoning.

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What is Presence of Mind:

The ability to remain calm, self control and take quick and positive sensible action is defined presence of mind and it is followed by another two powerful qualities that is observation skills and logical reasoning. Presence of mind is the quality or ability to think clearly and act quickly in an emergency  or any challenging situations without getting panic and fear. In other words we can say it as presence intellect. 

How is it important for us to have presence of mind,observation skills,logical reasonin:

The presence of mind, observation skills and logical reasoning can easily get us out of many complex problems, can protect from many dangers. The presence of mind makes us quick responders and we become fearless. If we have observation skills and are logical reasoning then we will be able to understand the difference between right and wrong, fake and reality. Presence of Mind boosts our confidence and makes us energetic from within. Presence of mind, Observation skills, and logical reasoning complement each other, leaving one another is incomplete. In order to be 100% engaged in any work and get success we must be good observers, try to understand with logic and have presence intellect. 

                                                                               

I will tell you a short story of my life about the magic of the presence of mind. 

One day my friend and I went out on a bike ride and suddenly fell into the high security zone. If you break the rules and enter the high security zone, you will be fined as much as the penalty. We didn't know about it and even we didn't notice. We regain consciousness and are startled when the security police men try to stop us. I'm really scared. My friend took the bike straight to the security guard and  said "I was coming to you,  if you could help me to find where the B-16 quarter is, what is the exact street it is." The moment the situation changed, the security guard who was about to punish us tried to manage us with sympathy. He really thought we were probably on the wrong track and really wanted help. This is the intellect, presence of mind of my friend save us from punishment and fine.

In order to create miraculous results in life, it is very important to have the presence intellect, logical reasoning and the observation skills. If you observe everything carefully and try to understand it logically, you will immediately find the right solution, find the right answer. There are so many situations in life when we get lost, we don't know what to do at that moment, we get really scared, which increases our danger many times over. Only our presence of mind can save us in all these cases so we must take care of it and find a way to make it sharper. Many believe that many people are born with the presence of mind but neuroscience has now shown that we can actually develop these skills if we want to. In the course of life, as the black cloud of negative thoughts surrounds it, with uncertainty and excessive work pressure, family pressure takes away our focus, takes away our imagination.  Gradually we lose our patience, our ability to observe and our ability to reason and our Presence of Mind rusts. 

                                                                                         

How can we sharpened our presence of mind, observation skills and logical reasoning:

I can suggest some important points to develop your presence of mind as well as observation skills and logical reasoning.

Feel, listen and observe any situation attentively: When you feel, hear and observe any situation very well, you can prepare yourself for the best solution. In fact, each of us have a very powerful mind. We represent external events to this mind through three senses, namely, feelings, auditory and visual.  The better we use 3 senses, the clearer the information will be to our mind and the better it will be able to prepare its response. You need to be consciously aware of what is happening in front of you, so that you can better represent to your mind about that event. You have to listen, see and feel very well to get deeper into the incident and then you will be able to respond perfectly.

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Refrain from multitasking: Almost every one of us has the idea that multitasking addresses our time and makes our day much more productive. In fact, the opposite is true: multitasking distracts us from our focus, takes away our concentration, and we fail to do most of the work properly. While doing any one thing, our attention is actually disturbed in the other thought. You will see that while driving, talking on the phone can lead to many distractions and increase the risk of danger. Better yet, engage yourself in one task at a time, it will increase your observation skills, your logical mind will be powerful and your presence of mind will increase. Multitasking puts a lot of stress on our brains that we may not realise at first but its far-reaching side-effects are much greater. In multitasking, there are many mistakes that can make your mind flutter and simple tasks become more complicated.  One can never be satisfied with working in this way. In everyday life almost everyone has work-stress, family responsibility, we risk multitasking to find solutions but it is not good for our overall life. To sharpen your presence of mind and use it properly, you must stop multitasking, and you will become a good observer as well as logical reasoning.

                                                                           

Set aside time for yourself: Everyone should set aside a certain portions of time for themselves every day in a regular basis. At that time only you will be with yourself whether it is twenty minutes or 1 hour. It is best if you can find a time early in the morning or before going to bed at night that no one will disturb you. At this time you can meditate or visualise, sit quietly and think about the beautiful moments of life or you can talk to yourself in positive language. Make sure your thoughts are positive and think more about yourself. It will be a little difficult at first because you have to do everything consciously. After a while it becomes a habit, you will see positive thoughts  will come all the time. And your brain will become much more active, your powers of observation will increase, your ability to understand by reasoning will increase and of course the presence of mind will be alert. It is very important to keep your mind in the right state to speed up any work, to do it at the right time and in the right way. But most people do not want to spend a little time for the excuse of high work pressure or lack of time. If you give yourself a little pure time for your mind, only this can reduce your stress, increase efficiency. 

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What are the small responsibilities that will make your relatives and family happy and peaceful

TABLE OF CONTENT

• What is a relationship conflict?
• Love in a relationship.
• Causes of relationship conflict.
• Responsibilities in a relationship.
• How to Have a Better Relationship.
• Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship.
• Small responsibilities that will make your relatives and family happy and peaceful.

Photo by Monstera from Pexels

  It is said "Charity begins at home" 

This is a very important sentence we have heard since childhood. But do we really know the real importance of it!  Or though we know we don't apply it in real life! Almost all of us perform our duties responsibly.  The earning members of the family earn money by working hard every day, the children study at home, one member of the family cooks food, and someone does other household chores. These have become a routine in our normal daily life. This is followed by occasional outings for fun, going to the park, eating out at restaurants, or attending various events, there is shopping as much as possible. After all, why is there so much unrest and so much relationship conflict at home?  Why are thousands of families breaking up even after a long family life? Though the number is very low as a percentage because most of the family person have accepted the turmoil in their worldly life as a part of their survival. In other words, they are living with this deep belief and hope that they will spend the rest of life with depending on the weed pile. 

If you really want to make your home environment healthier, to make your relationship sweeter, then you need to be prepared to take on some responsibilities, small responsibilities. 

You see, the bitterness in both family and relationships starts from very small incidents.  Gradually it gets to a point where they can't stand each other, they get angry when they see each other. Its effects are reflected in all aspects of life, career, worldly life, and socially, severely disrupting our mindset. Many parents, falling into this trap forget important responsibilities to their wards. 

Think deeply about how much trauma can be inflicted on your children when a husband and wife quarrel at home or when there is unrest in the family. The tender heart of the child gradually breaks down, and as the child grows, he/she is attracted to the thrill of the outside world to escape the turmoil of the family. They become addicted to drugs in order to get rid of those traumatic events. They try to spend more time outside the home environment by chatting or with the help of electronics-gadgets. 

                                                                                 

Where does this problem start?

Thinking of self as 'omniscient': ‘I am the wisest of all and I understand everything' is a very effective virus. This, of course, makes the basic structure of any family or relationship sick. People who have this kind of mentality do not want to be noticed by others so that other members of the family feel insequred. Although they endured everything at first, then got his back against the wall, they became defendants and the unrest in the family started, and the bitterness of the relationship increased.

Forcing a decision on others: Each of us is bound to have different choices, tastes, and moods and these are our unique identities, making different one from the other. Most people understand its importance and ignore it. We try to force our choice on others. What I like may not be liked by others, be it food, clothing, or conversation. But we continue to try to force our love on others. For example, if you like to eat bread and vegetables, you try to force feed your favorite food to your child. He may not like this food. Have you ever thought about or seen it? 

Not giving importance to others: Everyone has certain importance about family or in a relationship. You earn more, you work harder or you contribute more, it doesn't mean you ignore the rest and try to keep everyone down. Doing so will cause others to underestimate themselves, get hurt, and gradually move away from you. Pets can be tied up by force, but people can never be tied up by force. One day or another the fire of his mind will burn, and the gunpowder will explode, just waiting for the time. 

To criticize: The importance of discussion and vilification in building a person properly is immeasurable, it cannot be denied in any way. But it is also good and constructive as long as you do it in the right person and in the right place. Can it ever be constructive if you criticize your relative, wife, children, husband, or parents in front of an outsider? You can't imagine how much hurt your loved ones this kind of your behavior. Outsiders will only give you military comfort and make your mind more envenomed. As soon as you move away from them, they will rejoice in it, taking unfair advantage of your weakness. You can't respect your loved ones for any reason but you have no right to insult them. 

                                                                                                                                        

Everybody, from the educated to the uneducated, knows that if they spit upwards, it will fall on them, but what a wonder educated people do repeat that mistake again and again. A good number of people think that it is their achievement to criticize and slander others and continue to do it as planned. All these people deeply believe that 'I can't go up unless I can bring others down'. They have programmed their minds in this way so it doesn't matter who is nearer or who is an outsider. 

More Articles About programme your mind:

• How do you develop self-control to be a strong personality
• Find Out the Answer to 'What Should You Do in Your Life?'
• Transform your Adversity into your Great Success
• '7 Things' That Extremely Successful People Don't Do

I know very well that everyone knows what to do, what is relevant. There is not much lack of Omniscient public in our society. In fact, they have repeatedly failed in practical applications. Many again firmly believe that he is absolutely right, there should be no question of any flexibility. Of course it may be that you are right in your perception, but I would say that taking a few small changes, a little bit of responsibility will change your life and even your loved ones who are close to you will do a lot of good for your loved ones. Let's discuss about the changes and responsibilities I am talking about.

Giving importance to everyone in his own position:- Give a little importance to everyone, from the youngest to the oldest family member, or to the relationship, try to listen to everyone seriously, try to know the shortcomings, then everyone will value and love you too. Never pretend to listen or pretend to love. This negative attitude of yours quickly spreads in the minds of the people in front of you. Many things happen or will happen that you may not like, but without showing a negative reaction to all those events, try to get into it seriously and solve it in a simple way. You have to take this responsibility, you have to talk to them, whatever your role in the family or whatever the relationship is. 

Keep the fleet of critiques within certain boundaries:- Discuss, criticize, but never exclude the person you are talking about. If you have a really honest intention, then why are you avoiding the people you are criticizing? Never take criticism about someone in your family or loved one in front of outsiders, that makes more people laugh. It becomes like scattering dirt on oneself. It is a sign of your stupidity. It increases your distance from your loved ones. It disrupts the happiness and peace of the family. 

Photo by Armin Rimoldi from Pexels

Talk to the person first you are complaining about. Sometimes it may seem that he is not paying attention to what you are saying, but he is already thinking about it. Discuss several more times, discuss with the rest of the family, and find a way to solve the problem together. You are unhappy with the behavior of the person in the family, who has hurt you, he loves you also. This habit of condemning you will drive him away from you. In any danger, in bad times - in good times, outsiders are ready to take the discussion by storm. Why would you increase the danger more to your family and loved ones by joining their team? During these times you should stand by them more and give them moral support. If you join a group of critics to save your own back, who will that person go to? Stay by side in difficult times without any negative thoughts, unselfishly, one day or another you will get a great reward. Bigger than that, the relationship will be sweet, and happiness and peace will return to the family. 

                                                                                   

Try to accept people as they are:- It is one of the greatest virtues of man. Some people like to eat, some people like to sleep a little more, and some people like to wear fancy clothes and makeup. Openly consider these as one of their qualities. Don't try to force your choice of dress, choice of food or your decision on others. This increases the stubbornness of the person on the opposite side. It is better to love him, point out the good aspects of your choice that are well understood and he will surely understand the importance. Neither of us is 100% perfect nor are you. So if someone repeatedly scolds you for your mistake, you will definitely not feel good, you will also feel annoyed. Better yet, accept the small mistakes, and you will see the beautiful effect of this on your family, and relationships.

Today, on this valentine's day, my writing will show a new direction in your life. Not a special day for love, make life special. Wherever you are, the people you have been with for a long time, the people you dream of, fill them with love, and that light will spread all around. Relationships bonding and family bonding can never be tied with a rope, this bond of love, and mind, make it strong, live a wonderful life without worries. 

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How to Develop Your Self-ldentity Much More Than You Ever lmagined

                    TABLE OF CONTENT

• Identity Definition & Meaning
• types of self-identity
• Personal identity in psychology
• Importance of Self-Identity and its Benefits
• Identity of identity card.
• What makes up a person's identity?
• How to develop your own Identity.

Photo by davisuko on Unsplash

Identity Definition & Meaning:

All our qualities, beliefs, personality, characteristics, all these combine to form our real identity. Of course, looks and expressions also help to determine our identity but they are only at the surface level. According to psychology, personal identity is that which describes the unique aspects of any human being, making a person unique. Identity here does not mean a person either black or white, ugly or beautiful, long nose or flat, glamor of clothes, etc. 

Identity is actually strongly associated with self-esteem and personality. The identity that cannot be changed by changing clothes, applying bright colors, or even changing the face/body by plastic surgery that is the own entity of each your and my and that is our true identity. 

By identity we usually mean, who is in what profession, rich or poor, that is what we can see from the outside, consider it as his identity. Is that so? Then people wearing suit boots, living a luxurious life would not scrump or engage in illegal activities. 

The behaviors, the activities that we get acquainted with a person most of the time are actually an attempt to present ourselves to him in a conscious way. It's just like the tip of an iceberg that we see on the surface of the water and we can't imagine how many portions there are under the water. That is why we make mistakes in identifying people. 

Identity of identity card:- 

We have a tradition of using special identity cards in different fields like every citizen of the country should have citizenship card. All of these identity card identify us in which country we live in, our profession or what we look like. These never reveal your inner humanity. Identity Card can't identify a person who is a thief, cheater, murderer, genius or kind hearted in any way. Duplicate copies can be obtained if all these identity card are lost or misplaced. But no second alternative to the identification of man's own being can be made. Each of us has a uniqueness and that is completely internal, so there must be atleast a minimum difference in the way each person thinks, reacts, and behaves.

 

What makes up a person's identity:

Identity is formed in two ways, firstly, your own identity, that is, what you are in your own eyes. And the second is, what you are in the eyes of others, i.e your identity in the eyes of others. The first is that our identity is actually our self-image, that is, what we think of ourselves from the inside, what is our true identity in the mirror of our mind. The higher the Inner Identity, the more self-image you have, the stronger you will be able to deal with the adversity and challenges of life. The better your self-image, the better you can do function in life, you can perform.

How to develop your own identity:- 

Inner Identity is created by what you say to yourself, what you think of yourself, that is, strong or weak, confident or lack of confidence. 

A human being is known in the eyes of others as a lion but self-esteem is too low, then if he gets into a little trouble he will roll himself up like a rat, he will be constricted in fear. The way we behave, the action we take, is created our identity in the eyes of others. Now suppose you didn't grow yourself, didn't upgrade yourself, didn't make yourself internally strong, then no matter how much you shows up yourself wisely in front of a person, spending some time with you he will reveal your true identity. 

Others may not always value you but you are valuable enough. Your self-identity will awaken the recognition of your value. If you accept yourself, feel proud of your special qualities, you can correct your imperfections yourself. Be aware that none of us are perfect.

 

Some questions you can ask yourself to know your own identity and bring about its unprecedented changes. 

What are my values?  

What makes me happier?  

What are my own feelings?  

Am I always busy trying to please others? 

What is my own strength? 

What is my weakness?

Which ones do I enjoy the most?  

What is my standards? Do I live up to my standards?  

Do I pay more attention to the words of others?  

Am I sympathetic or selfish?

How much do I believe in my honesty?  

Which ones do I enjoy?

                                                                                     

Find out the answers to these very important questions in your mind. Try to fix the questions that will be answered negatively, improve yourself in those areas. Plan to build up the strengths of your weaknesses so that your identity will change dramatically. Never compromise with your values. Give importance to your own happiness and feelings. If you are not happy in your mind, if you do not have good feelings, it is useless to try to make others happy or feel goodness. 

Remember that people can deceive the whole world, but not just one person and it is himself. So make your own identity, make your own value so that you never have to regret for yourself.

Personality is an important part of identity. The use of parental perceptions and behavior ( love, ignorance, criticism, punishment, rewards etc.) towards a child from an early age have a profound effect on child's personality. Even his friends, lover one or society play an important role in shaping the personality. That is why parents should pay close attention to these from an early stage. 

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• '7 Things' That Extremely Successful People Don't Do
• Why self- love is very important to human beings
• 4 Outstanding ways to come out of the Struggle in Life
• How to take the first step towards dreams of your successful world

Also, whom and what kind of people you associate with, they inspire your identity from the outside and even from the inside. If you associate with negative people your mind will gradually fill with negativity and will pull you down. If your partner is honest and positive, your identity is bound to change gradually because of your thinking process will changing. So I would suggest to choose the company with utmost importance, keep yourself away from the company of people with negative thoughts.

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