The way how to control your mind

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First of all, let me ask you a question, why do you want to control your mind? Surely your mind is disobedient to you, sometimes flying wherever it pleases, going out of your control. Most of the time, negative thoughts run through your mind instead of positive one, sometimes you feel very bored, you can't pay attention to your own work, you forget your important work.

The good news for you is that more than ninety percent of the people of the world have no control over their own minds. And more good news is that about 10% of the people who have been able to control their minds have all had tremendous success in their own field. The most good news is, science says you can have great success if you take control of your mind, your thinking. Bringing this control is not a difficult task.

                                                                             

Our minds are as busy all the time as the ocean.  Here, too, there are always ups and downs in life just like the waves of the ocean, the tide of thought is always flowing. There is not the slightest abnormality in this. Our mind is always preoccupied with one thought or another, sometimes it picks up the old memories and thinks about them, sometimes it forms imaginary images of the future. 

Now the question is, is your mind thinking any realistic thought?  Any constructive thoughts coming to mind?  Are you thinking of something relevant to meet your goals? If the answer of all these questions are 'no', then your mind must be brought under control. Otherwise it will control you, will become destructive, will be more attracted to unrealistic things, will be engaged in irrelevant work.

                                                                             

You can never stop this preoccupation of the mind. But you can only consciously take your thoughts in a positive direction. One important thing we need to understand in this context is that we think in our Conscious Mind and habitual thinking takes place deep in our minds( subconscious mind). And once a thought takes over our subconscious mind, whether it is good or bad, the subconscious mind will produce a reflection in front of us as a result.

                                                                            

Now I am coming to the point how can we take control of our mind.

(1) Meditation:- It is never possible to build a house during an earthquake or a natural disaster. This is possible only when everything calms down and stops. Just like that, you can't think constructively as long as your mind is in turmoil. So at first you have to calm your mind and the only way of it is the meditation. Start meditating, slowly your mind will start calming down, you can't control it at first, a lot of weird thoughts will come and disturb. There is nothing to think about. Keep doing it regularly. Very soon the control of your mind will be in your hands.

(2) Indentify the thoughts disturbing you:- In order to control the mind, you have to be an observer of your own mind. Continue observe, what thoughts are coming and when, what is the source of it? If you observe well, you will see that your mind tells you the good and the bad, whether there is any reality behind your thoughts. It may be that your mind is thinking to warn you about something. You will find the real clue only when you observe from a distance and it will help you to shift from negetive state to positive resourceful state. It will be clearer for you to explain with an example.

Suppose you are in a traffic jam, you will feel annoyed, your mind will become restless and you will get angry, because you are associated with the situation. Now suppose you are observing a traffic jam from a high place. What will be your feelings then?  Then you will say, "Wow, what a wonderful sight. You might even upload pictures on your mobile phone." The point of view is totally changed because you are now a distance observer.

                                                                             

(3) Give the mind good food:- If you don't give your body good, pure food, your chances of getting diarrhea are almost 100%. In the same way always give good food to the mind very consciously i.e. have good thoughts. There is no existence of future or past in this world.  Then why will you pollute your mind by awakening those thoughts. And if you have to think, bring to mind the good events of the past.  Think of a bright future, dream. Look at the good side without looking at the bad side in the background of any event. Talk to yourself in a positive way.  Be grateful, be grateful to this Universe for giving you everything.

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Some common parenting problems and how to solve them

"There are many people through out the world to criticize children, but only parents are to love, to cherish.  Children are the safest only to their parents"....

                        .........Swagata (Ghosh) Maity

Every parents in the world wants their child to be the best, to be established, to be healthy, to have a good education, to be a real person. Parents start dreaming after the birth of a child. As the child grew older, the parents impose that dream on the child. If the child does not follow the path of the dream developed by the parents, they try to force to follow up. This has become the meaning of parenting in our society.

                                                                             

Parenting doesn't mean that.  Parenting means raising a child from infancy to adulthood, helping the child's physical, mental, social and intellectual development.

Now I come straight to the point where we, as parents make mistakes and how we can easily guide them to the correct way and build a perfect, bright children. 

Accept as they are:- At the very tender age, a child tell everything what is happening with him to his parents. When the child grows up, the parents ask but do not want to say anything. Where the relationship was changed? When a child remain infant, parents are happy to listen about him, they smile and accept him. Gradually, when the child grows older, parents begin to pay less attention to the child. When the child says something to their parents with keen interest, most of the time the parents do not want to listen to them rather even if they do, they immediately reject it. The tone of the rule came out of the parents 'throats,' Why did you do that?  Never do it again'. 

                                                                           

Suppose a ten or twelve years old child leaves school and goes to play with friends without informing his parents. When the child returned home, he wanted to tell the whole story openly in genuine interest. As soon as the child returns home, the parents start scolding him without giving any importance to the child. If this happens a few times, that implanted in child's mind that the 'parents are not reliable, I can’t share everything with them.' Gradually he began to hide from his parents what had happened outside. And he's looking for someone to share them with.  Only then did his attraction to the outside world increase and his friends become more reliable and sincere to him than parents. His distance from his parents also increased day by day. If we accept the child as soon as he returns home without any angry reaction and say that 'it is okay what you have done, but you are a very good boy, you should not do these things.'

Answer the question:- Most parents tell their child 'Don't do this, don't do that'. Listening to these, the question arises in the mind of the child, 'What should I do then?' We did not answer this wonderful question of his childhood, on the contrary we show him anger, we try to keep him down. Try to answer all the questions of the child which will help him to fulfill his thirst of knowledge properly.

The children is not your property:- Children only come through you, not from you. Most parents think of their child as their own property or future investment. The behavior of the parents towards the child continues as usual.  If the child is not on the path tied by the parents, he will be scolded and even beaten. Instead of teaching the child to walk, we determine the way of life, we try to change the way of his or her life. Discipline is definitely needed but if there is no harmony between discipline and love then it becomes rule.

Look at yourself carefully:- A child tries to copy exactly his parents.  So take care of what you are doing yourself, your behavior, your speech, even your thoughts. Each of these is directly or indirectly ingrained in your child's mind and how his brain continues to develop. So if you want to raise your child then improve yourself, raise yourself.

                                                                         

Never compare child with any other:- Every child is individual. Raise his/ her capacity. Don't try to mold them. Almost every parent tries to put their child in some mold. Some parents wants their child to be like them and some parents want their child to be like some ideal person or they compare him with another child. Such comparisons create jealousy, ego in the child's mind, can make them superior or inferior.

Criticism:- Never criticise or use any negative statements to your child. Even you have to avoid any negative thoughts to him/her. 'My child is naughty, very slow, the child is lazy' etc. Never use this kind of negative sentences. It builds his identity, his level.

Reward make sense:- Children and even adults are very happy with the rewards before or after doing something. Reward each child for their small good deeds. Reward means I am not talking about any material things here, reward can be applause, praise or any tapping, hug, love. Pretend not to notice the child's mistakes. Give much importance to their small good deeds.

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How can we take control over our anger completely

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.".... Buddha

Anger is one of our emotional states. We all experience it in life. We can show anger means it is beyond our control or someone or something or some events may make us angry. 

In first case anger may become our assets when it is under our control and when we utilise it in a proper way, in a suitable situation. It can protect you from misrule by others.

                                                                             

In the second case, that is, when our anger is controlled by something external, it is our discredit. It is your defeat, it is the loss of your life, it can bring disaster into your life, it can even take your life away. This kind of anger can turn a person to an animal. 

Both of these two resources are present in us. Whichever of these you inhance will become the director of your life. That will create your identity.

We get angry when we try to control others and we get out of control. Think about it, if you have no control over yourself, how do you control something external?

People who get angry for little things are all very aware of the issue and understand very well what kind of disaster this anger has caused or will bring to their own lives. All of these people have repeatedly said that anger needs to be reduced, but they burst in perticular situation.

                                                                           

There are deep reasons behind this which we do not understand or try to understand. Firstly, the person who get angry in very little has created his own identity by repeatedly telling himself that 'I am angry'. Almost everyone in their family and friends identified them as an 'angry person'. In some cases, parents say that 'my child is very angry'. Repeated use of such kinds of words is ingrained in the unconscious mind of the person or child without our conscious awareness. This kind of generalization about oneself or the child or someone in the family creates a belief in the mind that influences his or her actions. Later in future it become his or her behaviour.

Secondly, we hand over the control of our minds to the environment as well as to the people around us. Naturally, when all these external things do not work according to us, we get excited. In some cases you will see that one person gets angry when he sees another person. This means that the second person has become the trigger of the first person's anger.

Thirdly, when we are not comfortable, that is, suffering from depression, physical illness, a traumatic event occurs. Then we automatically feel an irritating pain from the inside which causes us to become angry.

How can you manage your anger:-

(1) Relaxation Techniques:- Sit in a quiet secluded place at certain times each day and take long deep breaths slowly and when you exhale slowly, pronounce the word 'relax'. Repeat this process ten to fifteen times.

(2) Deley The Response:- Our brain responds in two ways to an event. The first is the immediate response that comes out in the hit of the moment which is not a rational or the logical. On the other hand another response is coming after 10 to 15 minutes. This response is very logical or rational. If you respond a little late to an incident, your response will be very reasonable and without anger. When you get very angry for some reason, temporarily remove yourself from the situation until you become cool and calm.

                                                                             

(3) Unacceptanc:- The matchstick called 'unacceptance' can ignite the explosive in each of us. Most of the time we have this feeling inside ourselves that what people are doing is not right or what is happening to me is not right. Instead we need to believe those every person whatever they are doing at their place are right in their place. Maybe his level of understanding is not well developed or he is not well aware. It may not be that he is knowingly making a mistake. You may accept as the way they are. Create another belief in your mind, that is 'What is happening, happen for a purpose.'

(4) Internal Communication:- This is the most important thing we can do to get rid of our anger permanently. The terrible unresourceful state of anger in our lives can be changed in a moment by some neurological alignment. Your brain will respond to the signals in the form of visual auditory and kinesthetic you send to it of an event or a person you think about. You can't change or control the event or the situation. You can only control the process of your thinking.

Suppose someone is screaming at you from very near. You want to scream back or want to hit on the mouth of them. In that perticular moment someone tell you that the person is hungry for two days. Will you have anger in this situation? No, on the contrary, you will be kind and careful to them. In this case, neither the event nor the situation changed. Just the story that you made up in your mind about the event has changed, the process of thought has changed. If you change the visual, auditory and kinesthetic of this unpleasant event, your personal representation will change completely. You will never get angry.

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How to get inspiration from within

Inspiration is the fuel to the journey of our own life. Inspiration helps us to be motivated and successful. It develops the power within. Inspiration is the quality that we can develop within ourselves.

                                                                               

Verious outside meterial or a lot of people can inspire us in different ways. If we go back to our childhood we ​​will see that sometimes a piece of chocolate given to us by our parents or the applause of the teacher has inspired us very much. Sometimes we are inspired by the clapping of the audience. Sometimes the pinch of another inspires us to give the appropriate answer. Again, this happens when we are inspired by a celebrity or someone in the family to whom we consider to be an ideal. When we grow up, our biggest inspiration is love and money. The story of achieving extraordinary success in someone's life inspires us a lot.

If you think a little deeper, you will see that all these are very interim. Whenever chocolate runs out your motivation disappears. As soon as you run out of pocket money, you will wander around with pain in your mind. We break down emotionally when the lover says goodbye.

The sooner a person or a meterial thing from the outside world can inspire you, the more it can demotivate you again. Just as inspiration from the outside world has a profound effect on our lives, in many cases it can lead to a destructive life. Young generation of the present age are becoming drug addicted at the instigation of the outside world. Addiction to the abuse of electronics-gadgets is rising up.

                                                                             

The right inspiration shows the way of potential to an indifferent person. Recent research has shown that inspiration can be activated, retained and manipulated from within, which can change the outcome of a human life.

If we can be inspired from our own minds, that motivation can never go away for a small reason. Only that inspiration can provide us with the logistics to guide us to the right path forever.

Now let's see how we can be inspired from within. The Creator has given us an infinitely powerful mind by which man has made the impossible to possible. And our own inspiration has worked behind all these accomplishments. At the root of this is 'why?'. Our minds always want to know 'why' before doing any work. That is, if you can give your mind the right answer to 'why' you are doing it and explain it with enough reason, then nothing else can stop you. The word 'why' has an extraordinary power.

There are two sides to our every task, one is positive and the other is negative. Most of the time we highlight the negative aspects to our minds and as a result we get uninspired. If we do the opposite, that is, if we can make our minds aware of the positive sides of the task, then we will be inspired from within. If your mind is satisfied with the answer to 'why' then strong desire will be created in you. Your strong desire can build your inspiration within. If you develop an intense Desire you will then make a firm resolve, when you have a firm resolve you will put in immense effort.

There are many parents throughout the world who want their son to become Sachin Tendulkar. They enrolls their kids in a good coaching academy, to encourage buys an expensive kit, takes him to the cricket ground by an expensive car, provide valuable foods. But about 90% of them quit the game a few days later. Why is this happened in spite of such external inspiration? For one thing, they are not inspired from within. Their minds are not satisfied with 'why'.

                                                                           

The little boy, today's world famous Sachin Tendulkar, from the very first day of his cricketing life, was able to explain his infinitely ugly and strong mind 'why' he will play cricket. He visualized the feeling of winning the cup for the country that day. Of course, his own inspiration was further boosted by external inspiration.

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